11/26/2013 12:14 AM
Not even sure why I am on here writing again. Nothing can take my mind off of my struggle. I can find things that will grab my attention for a moment or two, but as soon as I snap back, reality is like a slap in my face. I curse myself for who I am- a sentimental fool. I wish I could turn it off, but it is who I am. So I try and find anything to take my mind some place else. I rarely can and it lasts only moments. I feel like this is such a facade of a life. It pains me to keep this up day after day. If the universe would just give this fool one last chance, I know I could prove myself worthy. Even a miniscule percentage of a chance existing gives me just enough strength to keep going. That alone can get me up in the morning, make me cook food and shove it into my mouth, make me workout and take care of myself each day. I must be ready if my chance ever arises. Because deep down I know that once my chances are completely gone...I will not be able to keep going.
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Sometimes I just write to get out what I am feeling
Change is in the wind
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