Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. click to show.
An Apology
------Looking back, the person who I wanted to be closest too never felt the same. And the people who cared the most for me, were the ones that I threw away. Damn that's ******** up. I was trapped in this shell of lies that I created and fed to you and you bought it. I;m sorry that you had to find out, If you're reading this "Zahyne" then, I'm really really sorry. I was really confused at the time about my identity, sexuality and personality. In truth, I still am.

------I'm sorry for all the lies and bullshit that you had to suffer. I never deserved to have you as a friend. I have no idea how to repay you back. Some times I wish I could just kill myself and release me from this stress. I can't because I'm bound to this book. That's why I came back after all these times. I find myself still chained to the past and to the lies that I perhaps even cherish. I would have loved to be with her too. But even if faced with reality of existence, I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't love me, but you.

------I want to thank you, for being the greatest friend, or perhaps lover that I would have ever dreamed to have. Thanks for putting up with my bullshit for years. But if you never knew, I really liked Susie, even though we both know she never felt the same. That's why I got jealous of Zack, and tried to be with Jessie. A part of me really felt, I guess "strongly" about you. You we're patient, despite the fact that I'd flicker and disappear through time, between months. I really really liked that about you. Even though you're gone now as it has been years, I still hope you're waiting for me, my Digital Knight. Perhaps one day, I can have enough strength to talk to you. Yet, I'm afraid because I don't know what will happen. I don't know how we'll end up, now the truth is out. Now that I believe I'm strong enough to face judgement.

Perhaps next time "Zahyne", perhaps next time. This is Anikacy, signing out!





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get Items
Get Gaia Cash
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games