sora wonk
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ew
Why are you here again?

Tumblr is too public for certain things.

I'm overhearing a conversation in my living room. I've heard this conversation before, on a bus to New York. My friend is convincing my roommate that his mother ruined his life. I'm sure she didn't make it pleasant.

His mother favored his younger sister. He's trying to think of as many examples as possible to prove that his childhood was awful.

Like, his younger sister was allowed to drive before him.

The little sister always got away with not doing her share of work. He pre-emptively shoveled his half of the driveway, and the sister said it was too much work, so the mom made him shovel another half. He said no. Meanwhile the youngest sister was shoveling away.

His mother was controlling and always took his sister's side in arguments.

His mother said she was surprised that he had gotten a girlfriend in college. (He supposedly has slight Asperger's, but you can't tell, so I wonder if he was misdiagnosed or something. He is a little too nice and neurotic.)

The mother never empathized. They never understood each other.

I'm avoiding this conversation, though I walked through it twice, though we are good friends, because seriously, what do I even say?

As a terrible person, I'm tempted to say, "Both my parents hit me when I was younger. My dad beat the s**t out of me because I couldn't figure out a math problem, and my mother would keep me up at night talking because she had hyperthyroidism and couldn't sleep. My dad cheated on my mother and was never around. He's a liar."

But I guess, even though they hit me more, I think they also loved me more. My parents don't understand me either, and I don't have any kind of honest conversation with them, but I know they love me. So not feeling loved, maybe, is more damaging?

I don't know...

I wonder what it would be like, to be unloved by your parents. How much would it hurt? Would you still be bitter about it when you were 22 years old, about to graduate college?