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The Ramblings of a Lonely Crazy Person
This week was much better than last week. My room mate and I have done a ton of work around the house, though we didn't finish a lot of things we wanted to do. And, as bonus, the jehovah witnesses didn't show up. Awsome.

So, my room mate took the laptop back to the store. I know I complained about it last week, but I don't like seeing him sad. He was deffinately sad that he had to return the laptop. Now I feel bad I was harsh on him for it smilies/icon_neutral.gif

As far as what we got done, he pulled the king bed out of his room, took my old bed, then bought me a futon. I feel bad about that too. If we had kept things how they were he wouldn't have had to spend any money. I need to stop telling him things I would like, or thing I think would be nice to have. If I don't want anything he can't buy me anything and end up using the money he could use for himself or for other things we might need. Actually, that is what I'm going to do. I'm not going to "like" anything. It will be similar to how I act on youtube (because they track that sh*t). Oh dear god, I'm going to live like I'm on youtube: no opinion, no voice, just watching people live their lives while mine goes by painfully slowly. And now I'm sad....

Yesterday while I was waiting around for the Jehovah people, I was going through some of the stuff they had said before. One thing that bugged me a little was they said "we got you and a few other people". They "got" me? It wounds a bit like a joke punchline: "GOTCHA! This was all a not so clever joke. HAHAHA!". Kiara also says "gotcha" when attempting to pounce on Kovu in the Lion King 2. I am very sure that is not what they meant by what they said, but still, its what I think of when I hear such phrasing. Also, while reading their little booklet I saw the phrase "God is never the source of wickedness you see in the world around you." My thought was "Really? According to the bible he sent plagues to torture people in Egypt, flooded the entire world, and sent two bears to kill 42 kids because they called some guy 'baldy' and he's never done anything bad? If I shave my head and kids call me baldy can I let two bears eat them then? I would only be doing what god would do after all." I looked up the specific passage in case they said "that isn't in there" and I found people defending the action. They said that "the kids had poked fun at a prophet while he was doing work for god so they were essentially making fun of god". If that is correct, being torn to shreads by bears for teasing someone? Really? Is the bible god that sensitive? I thought he was supposed to be the strongest being ever. Apparently not. Also, I remember them showing me a passage that said "god is love", how exactly was brutally murdering 42 kids loving? If a human did that we'd call them a monster. Is it just because god is supposedly stronger than humans that its okay for him to do such things? Normally, we'd still call it wrong no matter who was doing the bad sh*t.

And lastly, last night I was trying to get to sleep and couldn't so I played a little Harvest Moon when a thought crossed my mind: why is this fun to me? What is "fun" exactly? Honestly, I couldn't come up with an answer. I remember fun being hanging out with friends and laughing and doing things. Sometimes the things we did together was homework, but it was somehow fun because we were there together doing it. I used to think it was fun to play mmos too, but then I realized I only had fun there because I talked and had some great times with friends I made there. Everything seems to have gotten serious though. Video game characters are less light hearted and more stone faced with little to no "fun" moments. Discussions on forums have less jokes inserted into them. Its probably just me of course. I've become dull and I can predict too much when it comes to people, discussions, and media. I'd like to have fun again. I don't want it to be just some distant memory that I think "oh yeah that moment was nice" emotion_smilies/icon_8C.png





 
 
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