The unstoppable beating of daily life. The void that seems impossible to fill. The envious feelings that just keep building up and up until they explode. Every day gets greyer and greyer, losing any real emotion to it, other than the utter sadness caused by the shattering of life. There isn't any hope at all. No way out. No where to go, no where to get away from it all. It's sarounding, ubiquitous ways are all-powerful.
I can trace my life easily with a few words. It will be pathetic, boring and sad. Broken heart. Rebound onto a girl I do not love, live with her, have kids. Live as a teacher, retire. Die.
And there's no way out. No salvation. Nothing. All I am left with are simple questions that I can not answer. Why do I have to be this way? Why can't I find joy or hapiness in simple things? Why does every word, every face and every touch torture me to my very core? Why am I afraid of death when life is so bleak and sad? Why do I only feel love for one person? Why?
No answers. Only questions and fake friends, fake smiles, fake riches... Maybe a fake lover. I can only hope that the last part isn't true.
It is good that no one reads this. Or bad. I don't know. I don't care. I just need... something. A salvation. Something to save me. A person, Snow, maybe. A different life. Maybe.
Maybe. All I know is that I am lost and that I don't know any way out. I don't know how to shake off this feeling that everything around me is dead.
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