I'm not sure if its normal for me to feel this way. Nothing for me has gone bad since he left. and that was 2 months ago. Since then I've had no reason to be sad, but i am. I'm really sad. And i don't know why. I didn't cry when he died. I didn't cry at his funeral. I don't cry now, when i talk about him. I don't do anything. I can't do anything, everything feels numb. I haven't been sleeping for the past few weeks, the dark circles under my eyes cant even be hidden by makeup anymore. My teachers are worried about me, they talk to my parents and the guidance a lot. But even they have no idea what to do. People at school tell me i shouldn't be sad, that i have it good, and such. They don't understand. If i don't even understand why should i expect them to?
The " doctor " gave me some new pills to take now, he says they are suppose to make me sleep, and the others are to make me happy. I have never been this depressed before, and the pills don't make it any better. I just want to forget about this and wake up from this nightmare. From this 2 month long nightmare. This is the reason i don't make a lot of friends. Because they leave. Everyone leaves and it hurts, intentional or not. He's gone and I'm still here to live in this hell of a world.
I think I'm just going to take these pills and fall into a deep sleep again. Wish me luck and good dreams.
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