Author notes: This is an essay that I wrote in class, which is actually pretty funny. I hope you guys, my readers enjoy it comment on what you think!
------"Salvation" by Langston Hughes is about him as the protagonist, waiting in the church for Jesus to come and save him. He was in the church with other children as the pastor asks them to go up to him and accept Jesus. He sits there and watch the other children go up. He is waiting for Jesus to come literally, so he keeps the pastor up till it gets dark outside. He eventually goes up because of the pressure of keeping everyone in the church. Later on he cries in bed because of the pressure and disappointment of not seeing Jesus. Like the speaker in Hughes' story, I was pressured to do something I was uncomfortable with, though in a different context.
------In order to understand why it felt like pressure to me, we must first understand the context and the background of the story. There is this really really hot librarian back in my high school. He was probably out of my league and too old for me but I took out a couple of books that I wanted to read, just so I can have some friendly conversation with him. One of the books was Anna and The French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins, and it was a really cute and romantic book, one that can melt your heart away and can get you frustrated because things not going the way as planned. The book is amazing, but that's not the point. Anyhow, I finished the book and told him how much I loved it, so he gives me the sequel; pressuring me to read it. I did not want to read it. I didn't want to because I read the first few pages and it wasn't interesting to me. It was too mushy, and the protagonist was a bit of a b***h, compared to the prequel, which had a different protagonist by the way. Overall it wasn't interesting and this was pressure to me because the actions that I would then take would shape the rest of senior year of high school for me.
------The pressure was that I didn't want to read the book. However he was really hot, and my friends thought the same, except my guy friends. I didn't want to disappoint him, so I took out the book. I never read it but the first few pages, and I never returned it. The consequence was far beyond what I perceived back then. He would slowly transform into whole other person from this really hot librarian to this crazy overly attached boyfriend who is obsessive and controlling; except instead of the relationship it was the book that he was obsessive about. I spent my whole senior year avoiding him, to the point where I exiled myself from the library vowing to never return. Unlike Langston Hughes who cried from pressure and disappointment, I hid in fear from the pressure and his disappointment. I still have the book, even though I'm in college now miles away from him.
------I couldn't escape him forever though. Since I was valedictorian, he was there as I gave out my speech. I could feel the pressure and fear riling up from his glare as I spoke towards my fellow graduates, giving my commencement speech. I believed that the pressure emitting from him was more than the crowd, more than the stage fright itself actually. After the ceremony he spoke to me one last time saying: "You owe me a book." I didn't speak back because of the pressure and fear I think, but then he walks away which was so hot, bad a** and romantic. He just walks away after all this time I've been running away from him, as if he is playing the role of the romantic hero in a novel or something. I'm confused actually, all this time maybe I was pressuring myself believing that it emanated from him; maybe it was all in my head. I don't really feel guilt or anything really from now on, I'm still confused. Maybe one day I'll comeback and visit and perhaps give the book back, perhaps.
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