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The Lost Story of Kat
18 Miserable Years
So I'll be 18 tomorrow... I dont even know what to do about it, or if I should do anything at all. Seems like something you'd dread more than celebrate. All those questions I've been asking myself still don't have an answer. Maybe I'll never know the answers. Maybe it doesn't even matter. So what does matter? Probably nothing, just like I've always thought. I've been feeling things lately...things I've never felt before. A new kind of sadness. A new kind of anger. A better definition for misery. I have this awful feeling that things will be this way forever no matter what I do. I can't save myself, and hearing myself say that only makes me feel worse. Why do I push people to feel better? So they don't end up like me? No one could ever possibly want this. I sure as hell don't want this. I put so much concern into trying to help people. But who's going to help me? My friends? "What friends?" hmph.


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