So maybe this is why im afraid to look poeple in the eyes,
I dont want them to see what I am.
The true self lies within.
So maybe this is why I internalize all of my pain.
Blame it on myself because think its my fault.
I couldnt go thru one thing without making sure I had a reason as to why I am to blame.
So maybe this is why I refuse to stand tall,
Because I try to place myself in the middle of it all.
The divorce, the heartbreaks, the hate, the times they dont change.
Only my demeanor.
And its never getting better.
So maybe im not to blame,
But why is so hard to stay sane.
I just think its all my fault, my words taste bitter like malt.
So maybe this is why I lay my head down and cry,
but its probably because the pain is so comfortable,
and its my only defense against hating my own self,
to wallow in this pity
I dont want to blame myself, but in the end there isnt anyone else.
Old songs i forgot about