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I shall gladly give my life up in order to save the life of a friend.
-_-;
I honestly feel like I'm a failure in life. I come across people I used to go to school with or who I used to know at one point or another in my life, on Facebook, and I see all these awesome things they've done, or are doing and then I look at my own life. All I see is nothing.

I have no friends in real life.
In a sense I don't exist really.

I don't have job. I don't get any mail (aside from an occasional gift exchange). I don't drive. I never really went to high school. I've flunked G.E.D. I have no talent. I'm a failure.

Outside of the internet, I'm a ghost, and frankly even on the web I'm a ghost too.
Very few people would probably miss me if I never logged in here again.
Just like very few people would probably miss me if I vanished in real life.

I honestly question what I'm doing anymore.
I'm a failure at life and feel like I'm wasting people's time and just taking up space.
After all, I will never amount to anything.
I never have and never will.

A couple people will say all of this isn't true, but honestly it is.
Most if not everyone of the people I used to know or go to school with is on their own, with a diploma, a job, and enjoying life in some way.

Meanwhile, here I sit, still with my parents, no job, no diploma, staring at the same four blank white walls, I look at day after day, wondering why I bother to get up in the morning, just to do the same thing I did the day before.

Sure I have an amazing boyfriend, but frankly I'm starting to think I'm wasting his time.
Realistically, it's a very slim chance we'll ever meet in person. Me being struck by lightning has a better chance of happening, yet I can't bring myself to break both our hearts, even though it'd probably be better for both. He could move on and to someone better, who's less depressed and pessimistic, while I continue my life of failure and nothingness, until I completely fade away.

I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't.





 
 
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