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This is more of a thing where you can understand me and what happens in my life - and all my issues-
Every day you wake up you dread it. You dread school. You despise school and every one in it. You have a few friends that keep you afloat, Only a few. In school there's name calling. There hitting, Being called a freak , A loser. A loner. A waste of space. Soon they spring to full blown attacks , Your cornered in a changing room . Three boys much bigger than you , They beat you till your bloody. You stumble home , Nose broken and bloodied. Your mum wont be home so she wont know you've been beaten, But at this point she's used to seeing you come home with ripped clothes . She's tried. But it never worked , The bullies always find a way. Always find a way to corner you. So you pick yourself up , yet again and set off home. You manage to get upstairs and into the bath room, Cleaning yourself up you suddenly stop and stare at your face. It bruised and cut. This isn't you. You decide your sick of this , You've known it for a long time , but you didn't want to face the facts . You know its time to end this. You open up your bedroom draws , you find a piece of yellow paper and a pen. So you sit down and begin to write its short but you know its enough. Enough to explain what happened. you write to your mum and dad , You apologize for what your about to do , you write how much you love them and how it isn't their fault you tell them how it wasn't their divorce that made you do this. That it wasn't your nan either. So you write to your nan too. You tell her that if the worse comes to the worse and she dies too , Then you'll be there on the other side to welcome her with open arms. You wont let her be alone ever again. You write to your small group of friends. You tell them that the cheeky name calling wasn't what drove you to the edge.You write to the people who bullied you. Called you a nerd and a boffin. You don't name names but they know who they are. And so do you . You send your love to that one girl who never noticed you. You pour your heart out wishing it could have been different. When your finished you fold the letter , realising that its soaked with your own tears. Everything is still readable so you leave it to dry. You sit back on your bed and pick up the pills that have been at your bedside for weeks. With no hesitation you swallow a handful , hoping that it will do the job. Because you couldn't bring your self to end it any other way. You being to feel sick and dizzy. Then it hits you. Your gonna die. Your actually gonna die. Your body is racked with shacks and sobs. You cry out screaming to hold your mother just one last time. You scream until your throat is raw. Then you collapse. And your dead. That's it . Its over. But its not. Not yet.
When your mum comes home , she finds her baby boy lying on the floor. Dead. She will never forget that sight. She collapses next to you cradling you sobbing until she's cried herself dry. She phoned the ambulance but she knows that it is way to late. She knows by the colour of your skin you've been dead for ages. Yet she wont accept it. She still cries. She screams and begs. Begging for you to wake up. To stop messing around and sit up and talk. Screaming ' I KNOW YOUR THERE JUST COME BACK PLEASE' . But you cant. You never will. When your father finds out he begins to drinks. He loses his job but he doesn't care. He drinks himself silly every night so that he doesn't have to remember he did nothing to help. Your mum and dad both blame themselves for not helping you. They blame themselves for splitting up with each other. They cant move on. And they will never move on.
A few days later the school is notified. In the next assembly your friends find out. And so does the hole school. Your friends blame themselves , For not sending you that one text that could have saved your life. That teacher that gave you a bad mark once. He cant stop thinking about you. All the bullies that ever said anything never stop thinking about you. They all cry for you. But the person who cries for you every night. Is the girl who loved you. She never told you. She loved you for years , but she never told you. She cries every night , wishing to hold you. Wishing to tell you she loved you. But she cant. The counsellor who tried to help you quits her job. Feels that she failed. That she could have done something to help you. That boy who called you a boffin. He works as hard as you did. That is his apology. At the front of the school flowers are laid for you every day. Your grave is visited every day. By different people. You don't understand how much of an impact you had on every one. You left your foot print on their lives and now you left. Just like the first man to step on the moon. You will never be forgotten , Even though you may be dead and gone you live on in the hearts of everyone.





PiePiePiePoo
Community Member
PiePiePiePoo
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  • [10/27/13 07:30pm]
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