Who likes mermaids?!

I'm working on a merdude character and need a place, other
than irl, to write some s**t down. s**t Tyrone, get it together.

Merpeople Facts & s**t
*These are my "facts". Meaning that they're not official and not
even real. How can they be real? You can't have facts on something that doesn't
exist! ANYWAYS, these are "facts" based on my character and his story.

- Merpeeps have lungs and gills. Lungs are located in
the chest cavity, just like in humans. The gills are located towards the top of the
fish body, pretty much on the hips. Breathing is involuntary, the transition between
breathing air and water switch automatically.

- Ingesting a single merperson scale will allow the consumer to hold their
breath for an hour. This timed ability starts the second the scale is swallowed
and then lasts for an hour following the consumption.

- Merpeople with royal blood can transform from mer to human or human to mer
at any given time. The transformation, from mer to man, will render the merperson
naked. If the merperson is in human form and changing back into mer, any clothes
they're wearing will rip apart. All merpeople, in human form, tend to be tall.

*Sexual content*
- Merpeople, in mer form, have slightly different genitalia than humans.
There is a slit on the fish body, located where the genitalia would be.
(following the human torso hips)
For females, the slit if merely a cover for the v****a. For males, the slit covers
the retractable p***s. Yes, retractable. The slit does not open when aroused but
the area around it starts to blush. (Turn pink)

- Performing sexual intercourse is similar to how whales perform sexual
activities. One swims upside down and the other right-side up, connected.
Like humans, merpeople do have sex for fun. (Although it is rare.)

- When a female is pregnant, she hold her child in the uterus. Her belly
does distend, like a human. She carries one child for 10 months and
gives birth through her v****a. The slit covering her genitalia will open wide
in girth when delivering the child.

That's all I can think of! Sorrynotsorry for the sexy stuff.
If I don't know how something works, 100%, it pisses me off. So, I wrote
how they get it oooooon. If I think of anything else that is remotely
relevant to my story or just some s**t that helps me get all the
nasty details on mermaids & s**t, I'll post more.