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Journal XIII
It should keep you up to date with me
So the girl i really liked, doesn't like me.She flirted with me, yet didn't mean any of what she said or did. I've decided to drop her out completely. There is no point in being with someone who doesn't care to say hi or make any effort to be with you. ******** it. I'll suck it up and move forward. She was close to perfect for me, but there are plenty of fish in the sea right?

Another friend that I met on here is really nice, but she's younger than me so I keep my distance. She's an alright friend though. A bit selfish and ignorant, but hey....i can't be picky about everything. She's makes for alright company I suppose.

Most recently is a friend I made not so long ago. She's a year younger than I, but has a baby boy coming on the way. She made me really think about what I wanted in my life...to have a family. A beautiful wife, two sweet loving children, a good job, nice house, etc... At this point in time, my life is NO WHERE near that nor will it ever be. It bums me to think like that, but its true.

I can't seem to find a girl who is my age and attracted to me. It's depressing. I know I'm a great guy...it's not in my nature to be a jerk. I'm all about chivalry, but all girls want now a days are freakin' BIG F A T jerks.

I know i said it before, but I may not be the best of looking guys. But what matters most is personality.

Maybe life, itself, just doesn't want me to be happy. Maybe there is a lesson to be learned from being a lone. I just don't understand why me though. There are tons of men out there who abuse and hurt the women they have...why don't they get this punishment?

I deserve to have the girl of my dreams. I deserve to be happy. For once in my life, I want something only for me. I can't take it anymore more, I can't stand helping or listening to anyone anymore.

At this point in time, I'm really just thinking about suicide. Maybe if I die, I'll find a better place. Maybe that's the point of what life is trying to make.

Suicide because after all...Death is just the beginning.

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