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The True Story of Sleeping Beauty

Once upon a time, in a far away magical kingdom, there lived a beautiful princess, named Aura, and an evil witch that was…

“Now wait one dang second there!” screamed the evil witch, “I’m not evil. So you better stop calling me that!”

It’s my story so I can tell it however I want. So ha! I’m a traditional narrator and I tell the story on how it’s always been told. And for your information in this tale you are evil. And there’s nothing you can do about it!

“Nothing I can do about it, huh?” The evil witch said with a smirk, “Well just see about that…”

The evil witch began to mumble something under her breath then…

“Wait what just happened?” The narrator asked.

I just turned you into a character and myself into the narrator with a little spell. Now I have control over this tell and can say what really happened. Let’s see how you like being at my mercy for a change. No more smears of lies will be on my name.

“You can’t do that! It’s against the Narrator’s Union rules! It’s just not fair!” The narrator yelled in frustration.

Well I just did. Now go away. And with an expected pop noise, the narrator vanished from sight. Now back to the story… My name is Witiker Witch and this is the true story of “Sleeping Beauty”. Contrary to what you might have heard I am not an evil witch. In fact I’m not even a witch; it’s just my last name. The only magic I know is the spell I used on the narrator and I just learned that for this situation. I’m actually a pharmacist.

Oh I almost forgot the beautiful (beauty being only skin deep) princess Aura was just a little snuck up snob with a sleeping problem. You see one day she sent her poor and rather on the edge father to fetch me so I could help her with the problem. After being dragged to the palace I had to listen to her rant for three hours about sleeping problem before I could even get in a word, which I might have done a bit rudely…

“Princess,” I snapped as I tossed a bottle of sleeping aids at her, “Just take these pills!”

The princess huffed at being interrupted by me. But then mumbled, “Fine.” She then began to open the bottle immediately.

“I must warn you princess only take one pill a day and only when you are in bed.” I warned her… but of course she didn’t listen.

“Sure. Whatever.” Aura grumbled then opened the bottle and downed all the pills at once.

She, of course, fell unconscious immediately and sent the entire royal court into a major panic. I just shook my head and tried to talk to the king. But before I could the royal fairies were summoned. I tried to tell everyone the sleeping effect would wear off in thirty days but the fairies shouted out a “solution” first.

“A kiss from her true love will wake her!” The fairies shouted out in glee.

At this point I just hit my forehead with my hand and left the palace with out another word. Now while I was relaxing at home the king had his army running around the world collecting princes to kiss his sleeping daughter. Unfortunately a very bright and rather good looking prince was forced to kiss the princess while he was trying to explain to the king that the effects couldn’t be permanent.

He just happened to have the bad luck of kissing her right when the effects were wearing off. When she woke up everyone began to force the prince to marry the princess, except for his parents who were still convinced he was on a hunting trip. But after Only two hours with Aura, the price couldn’t stand her anymore. He snuck out and came to my shop for help.

“Ms. Witch. My name is Prince Charles Willheart; and I’m not one to believe in magic but anything you could do to set me free from this marriage to Princess Aura will be repaid ten fold.” The prince, or should I say Charles, pleaded.

“Firstly, the name’s Witiker; secondly I’m not a Witch just a pharmacist. And thirdly, another bottle of sleeping pills should do the trick to set you free.”

So he took the pills back with him to the palace and drugged the princess. But then he returned to my shop. Apparently Charles had fallen in love with me at first sight. And so we returned to his palace together, much to his parent’s confusion, and…

“Lived… wait what just happened?” Witiker asked.

I used the Union to take back over! So ha! I’m in control again!

“Evil narrator...” Witiker mumbled.

Be nice of you won’t have a happy ending.

“Ah! Sorry!” Witiker whimpered.

So as the real story goes. Witiker and Prince Charles Willheart lived happily ever after.