I Tortured Sleep I
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There's a million reasons why I know god does not exist, and putting aside the fact that science and reason has made it absolutely impossible for such a deity to exist, there are my own personal reasons in to why I believe what I believe. Throughout my life, I've been given nothing but pain and suffering for my kindness. Even when I could barely afford to give things away I would, even when I was starving I would help those who were going hungry eat. I always give to charity, I help in any way that I can, asking for no payment, even when it's too hard for me to keep going on my own. But putting aside that, even though I've been kind and nice and excepting to literally everyone in my life, there's still more.

My family's christian/catholic, it's one of the reasons they won't talk to me now, but that's okay because I hate every one of them anyways. When I was down and depressed and felt as if I had no way to continue on and keep going, when I felt like my life had no purpose and it was easier to end it all, you know what my christian family told me? You know what they told me when I was standing on the edge of a bridge, calling them from a cell phone, hoping they could help me because I didn't want to end it, I was scared of death, but couldn't see anything in front of me? They told me to jump. They told me to jump and if I had faith, god would save me, and if not, I would burn in hell.. they told me I would burn in hell because I was worthless and I had done nothing more them, they told me I would burn because I had homosexual friends and I didn't pray every night. They told me I was worthless anyways, and that I should jump.

I never talked to my family again after that. I had stopped believing in god many years before; god wasn't there when I was almost raped, god wasn't there when I almost died of an asthma attack and the paramedics had to bring me back, god wasn't there when my house caught on fire, he wasn't there when I lost everyone I cared for, he wasn't there when all those people beat me up in an ally way outside my school, he wasn't there when my best friend ditched me for no reason, he wasn't there when I was starving, he wasn't there when I lost my home, he wasn't there all those times that I was attacked by things I couldn't see. God wasn't there. And god wasn't there because he isn't real.

It's stupid to believe that people believe god is alive simply because a book says so. A book, created by humans, people who could have been simply crazy, which told them there was a magic man in the sky who would allow them to the most perfect paradise even if they raped and murdered as long as they asked for forgiveness. A stupid book which, because of something they can't control, is telling people that homosexual people, who can't control what they feel, should die. A stupid book which is telling people how they should live their life, even though it might not be the most moral. A book which makes the ones who read it believe that everyone else is a satanist. One. Stupid. Book.

I've had homosexual friends, and they're great. In fact, they're amazing. If you look at the figures, most of the christian peoples are either in jail or have done something so morally wrong in their life. Of course, there's not just christianity either, but others as well. Look in the history of time at how many slaughters of innocent human lives were caused by disputes over religion. I know my religion is probably not the correct one, but we'll never know that. ********, there might not be anything out there at all. But I'm wiccan because I've seen what nature and the elements can do, I've seen it. I've seen the power and fury of mother earth and it is SCARY. She is powerful. But I also know that the weather and elements are not created by some spirit or god. I know that air currents are created partially by the rotiation of earth mixed in with other factors like convection currents and mountains and pressure. I know that storms are caused by hot and cold air, I know that it's not goddesses and gods doing all of it.

// rant over.