January 16th, 2013
I have a problem with eating. I have a problem with eating sugar. I need sugary foods and I eat them compulsively, even if I don't like the way they taste or I'm not hungry. It's disgusting. I disgust myself. I feel like I have a drug habit; when Mom confronts me to for eating too much ice cream I feel so ashamed. I just have no self control--my mind says "no no no!" but my body says "yes yes yesss." I get so angry and frustrated because I want to stop, I should stop, I need to stop but I haven't got the self control. That's why I leave nasty notes for myself and draw watching eyes, I'm trying shame myself into it.