Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

The Book of Alan
This is the the Book of Alan. I just write whatever in here. These are mostly to my girl, but all are welcome.
Let me start by saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you. (Wait wait wait.... before I go on, NO I'm not breaking up with you. I love you.) I just... I couldn't handle saying this to you. I wanted you to feel like I was okay until you dozed off. Needless to say... I'm not. I'm sad, I miss you, I'm worried like hell, and I'm pissed at your mom/ Hansen because they're the only reason I won't see you. I'm worried like hell because when you do that it means I'm that much closer to losing you. If I lost you, especially like that, it would kill me. I know I sounded calm about the fact that I can't do anything but.... I'm not okay. I try and keep a calm face about everything because I need to. I keep my head straight in the moment and later deal with my emotional bullshit. The rest kind of goes together. I'm pissed at them cuz of what I already said, I miss you like crazy and... I need you. I do. I don't care how chill I seem, I need you. Please don't think this is me trying to guilt you into seeing me or some s**t because it's not. Honestly if the only way I can see you is without your mom knowing then... we shouldn't. That just makes them right about us. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if this hurts you. I didn't want it to but... I don't know. I feel like s**t. I'm sorry. I had to tell you.

Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games

Customize your own avatar now!

Join Now

Have an account? Login Now!