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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
Got rid of Red.
I feel like I broke up with him, almost..? But I think that's the only way I could let a dude like him down without him getting ******** clingy afterwards. I've dealt with that type for so ******** long, I don't even know anymore.

I told him he hurt me.. and, I was hurting, but it wasn't because of him. I did want to see his reaction, though. If he apologized, then maybe he was human. He, of course, didn't; that's just his personality type. He's too engrossed in himself. I cut ties with him. I told him I'd interact with him in chat, but that was it. Skype was too personal.. and by that, I meant, I didn't want that ******** psycho on skype being a creepy goddamn c**t.

He told bast something about how the situation was similar to his, or something. I don't know if he thinks I was gay for him or something..? It's all really weird. It'd be ******** hilarious if he thought I was though. I was sincerely hoping to find a friend in him.. but all I found was a lion in wolves clothing. Live and learn.

Catbug said stuff to me that gave me a ton of feels. Not even a "OH GOD I LOVE CATBUG", just.. I was hurting a bit.. and I'm already 'weird".. hearing anything even remotely emotional targeted at me just crushes me right now. I feel so ******** vulnerable, and I want to cling to people at random. I've calmed down, but I'm glad I'm taking a small break from the chat. I'm too weird right now, and everyone else is too ******** busy with their own life for this kind of kiddy BS.

I really need to grow up and move on.. but I can't make these feelings go away. I also feel weird ... like i'm not myself... so I don't know what the ******** is going on. I'm just going insane.

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