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Its been along road
Well how do I start? I started gaia 6 years ago..thats along time huh? Well I met the man ive been with for 6 years on this site....its hasn't been easy...him being from florida and me being from south carolina....I now live in florida with him and im happy for the most part...its just I now work 2 jobs and I feel like im getting no where is that normal? I sometimes wish I didn't move but would I have been happier back home? I have no idea sometimes I wonder if I would have ever met him with out this site.....lots of thoughts going through my head...I miss my friends from here but I don't know their gaia names I only have like 5 or 6 ppl on my friends list.....I still cant believe its been 6 years....although we had a rough patch when he moved home and I felt abandoned so we broke up for 2 weeks....those were the longest 2 weeks...and now im here....he brought up a good point the other night....what would I be doing now if he wouldn't have taken me back? ( I broke up with him because I felt like he didn't have time for me) I really have no idea what I would be doing I would probably still be single because im not great with guys...probably still be working my same dull job ( I still work there but I have another dull job on top of that) I know I still have my best friends support even though we are 8 hours away....but what in the world would I be doing? Im happy I started up my gaia again but my boyfriend isn't on my friends list....why? turns out when we broke up he took me off.....why does it hurt me so much? maybe its because we met on here and formed out friendship and relationship....so may years of history on here and its gone.....It really hurt my heart...does that sound weird? I know this post is really deep but its been on my mind for weeks now and I don't know all the answers....should I let it go? Don't bother with it? But when I think about it my heart just aches the whole time.....I feel like crying just as I write this....I really do love him....I don't know what I would do with out him...he helps me out a lot...but I feel like he thinks I take him for granted and I don't I really don't....I know im lucky that he helps me out with my bills he is paying my dental bill ( I had eight teeth removed...my four wisdom and four back molars).... and he pays my cell phone bill and he also helps me buy food when I cant afford it.....I do pay rent and I am paying off one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars worth of urgent care that I had when I was sick....I just feel like its not enough sometimes.......sigh.... this was such along ramble of what goes on in my brain......well till next time....
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