If it was actually a "tip", I'd call it that, but I'm not going to anymore. I prefer to call it, "Morally Forced Civilian Compensation." It's like, how should I put this, the stereotypical, accepted definition of Socialism/Communism. For that matter, reminding me of these things makes me want to tell the entire restaurant establishment to ******** off and never eat at another one again. After the constant, sub-par, over-priced food, the diarrhea that's likely to unfold and the unclean dishes when I pick up a plate at any buffet, I'm just not in the mood to deal with this anymore.

Half the food tastes like soap, all because people are so incompetent they have to worry about how to pay the waitstaff when they're so unnecessary, I'm better off getting the damn drink myself, when the quality of the food somehow manages to be worse than McDonald's, and they don't even have waitstaff. Oh, and get this, I can get the food myself there.

It's funny, too. These overpriced "steakhouses" taste like s**t in comparison to buying the cheapest sirloin available and placing it in a frying pan with Italian dressing, and I don't even eat steak anymore. You know something else? I can make better food from a ******** can, and at least I'll know every ingredient in it, as well as knowing I can make better food than these overpaid a**-hats.

Here's the thing, I'm getting sick of this "mixed economy" job getting such special treatment. Here's what's going to happen before I decide to eat at one of your overpriced s**t-holes again. Pick one of the choices:
1. You make this ******** job the same as the others.
2. You make all jobs exactly like this one.
2a. (Optional) You remove the initial payment requirement of ~$2 and instead opt to have the waitstaff/everyone work entirely for free, whilst expecting them to be paid for their services based on moral premises. You know, exactly like Socialism/Communism.

Thanks again, but also, I like penises.