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Writing this here because I do not want anyone I know to see it.
I'm just feeling lazy all the time, nothing inactive mentally at all. All I do is work, school, and be lazy at home. I always make excuses to myself for not working out and getting healthy. "Just this once," " I will when I finish this," "I'm too tired." And I feel pitiful. I feel as though I am pathetic, but I also look at myself and feel pity towards the person I see. I see someone who would rather stay inside for his life, rather than go outside and play, to have social interactions and proceed further in life. I even make excuses for my excuses. I get to the point of saying, "well, at least I'm not THAT guy" referring to someone bigger than me, "at least I CAN attempt to run" referring to someone who is physically incapable of running for any period of time. I am trying to get fit and muscular. I am trying to get a physique that VERY few people have, that most people envy, and I have a year to go from 55 lbs overweight to that. I estimate I will need to get down to about 12% body fat, possibly lower, with immense amounts of muscle to get this physique. I am trying to cosplay Goku, from DBZ, for Otakon 2014. And I want to enter the Cosplay Contest with said character. I just... I feel as though there is plenty of time to get there, but also I doubt that I have enough time to do it. I also feel like I have no idea what I am doing in the weight room, despite how much I will need to do there in the next 11.25 months. What I really need to find a mentor and a partner. I pretty much have my partner, if I can time our workouts together. But a mentor to get to that level is a much more difficult one. I know one of my co-workers have a son that is a personal trainer. But when I think of the personal trainer, I think of what they do, they guide, they lead, but unlike you see on television, they rarely work out with you. They TRAIN you to be on your own, point you in the right direction. I need someone who can push me as hard as I can go as often as possible, but also knows where to go and when to stop. I'm also worried that I'll spend a bunch of money for a personal trainer, then either not be able to make my goal, or that I would have been able to get the same results on my own. I'm possibly over-thinking it. I certainly need someone better than I to guide me.
slapthefatcat2 · Sun Aug 25, 2013 @ 04:45am · 0 Comments |
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