Scarlet_Teardrops
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I'm Still Here

I'm still here.

That is, on gaia.

There aren't too many people who talk to me anymore. They have either left gaia or haven't really spoken to me since my confession.

*Sigh*

Of course, I've been busy myself. I'm sorry I haven't been the best of friends in that regard.

I miss some people...

I'm thinking of cleaning up my friends list a bit, but I want to make sure that I'm there for people who might need me. But then, how can I be there if I don't get on regularly enough? I get on maybe twice a week. That's not really enough to help people or be there for them.

And who knows...perhaps it's time to move on and stop charging in to help people. Maybe it's fruitless. Or maybe I just...can't anymore. Maybe I'm too busy. Maybe I don't care enough?

No. I do care enough. I just don't have the time like I used to. Anyway, I'm thinking of writing a nice thorough journal entry about the LGBT group and their movement, as well as homosexuality and how it relates to the Christian faith and to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I'm also thinking about writing an entry discussing the issues with Calvinism. And then there is the matter of philosophy and my issue with today's post-modern, secular, or atheistic philosophers. The main issue I have with them is that they're inconsistent in their philosophy. Philosophy is the pursuit of wisdom and the ideal. The problem is that if there is no real wisdom (and there may not be) and no real "ideal" (which there most certainly isn't if there are no absolutes) how can they possibly continue to both hold to such things and be honest about their beliefs to themselves and to others? I would argue that they can't.

And then there is the matter of the lies of the media and politicians, Barack Obama and his wondrous failures at which I tearfully and dumbfoundedly marvel. Not to mention foreign affairs, whether I should continue to keep up on the news when it stresses me out so much, whether or not there's still a point to doing Evangelism (there must be, the LORD ordered it, but I still struggle and wonder), and what I want to do with my freakin' life since I'm not so sure I wish to be a pastor--or even a counselor. Do I want to, maybe, be a teacher? I would LOVE to teach philosophy and theology--on the university level.

Being a writer is out of the question. I refuse to publish my work just to let my characters be violated in pornography and my stories molested with fan fictions and various interpretations by proponents of the "reader response" theory. I just can't live with that. I put my heart and soul into my stories and my characters. They are precious to me and I protect them. I cannot, will not, allow them to be used or twisted in such a manner. So I will take my stories with me to my grave--and to heaven where no one will snatch them up or use them for wicked purposes.

I felt so called to be in the ministry...now I don't know. I just don't know...

Anyway, I guess that's just about all I want to say...for now. I have a lot more to say. We'll see.

Much love to you.

Sincerely,
-Haelix