i don;t know, i feel terrible. i mean, i'm giving my parents even more debt than i should have and they tell me not to worry. i know i shouldn't but damn it all, i can't help but feel guilty for this. my parents could had been living a normal life right now, free from worry and payments...but then i would be the child they would never had had...i don't know, am i overthinking this...i should help them somehow, i don;t know, a job or something over the breaks...but then they would say it would interfere with my studies and then they would tell me to not worry but how can i when they got so much to pay for...it sucks being a cancer; there's too many emotions going on with me. gah, stop it brain. -slaps- well, i'm just getting this off before i cry myself to sleep at my dorm instead. i still don't think i should leave so early. i haven't done much...i need a boost in self confidence...i should get back on a game to boost my esteem...

- ...i got no clue, i think the sleep is making me like this...i woke up at 3 am and stayed up since and i only slept..8 hours? wtf. huh...oh well...i got to stay up to shift my sleep back to normal...