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A recollection of a life once lived
Just random babblings of myself, who I am, who I once was, where I came from and how exactly I came to be where I am today.
"I hope the sun shines and its a beautiful day and something reminds you you wished you had stayed, I never planned on you changing your mind"

...Cute. I wonder which song you pulled that one from?

Truth is, I don't wish I had stayed. Not after learning who you really are. Not after learning what I truly was to you--that I never truly mattered to you at all.

I mean, how could I have? You were so quick to shrug me off as though none of it ever happened, and you've changed yourself at the drop of a hat just to fit someone else's design.
I don't know how I never saw it before. All the times you threw fits over the most trivial of things, all the times you tried to get rid of me on purpose. I was just company all along to you, wasn't I? You never truly loved me, and that's a shame too, because I loved you. I STILL love you. I don't even know quite why myself.
And don't try to tell me otherwise either. Your actions have spoken far louder than your words. After all this time, I've seen your true face. The one I was blind too all along for the sake of love.

The way I see it, the woman I fell in love with never existed. She was a lie.
It was all just one big, beautiful lie all along, but I believed it--because I loved you.

I've never regretted anything more in my life, yet here I am, still caring after all this time. I can't even sleep at night anymore because I lie awake thinking back on it all.
Even in my dreams, there you are. Always there. Keeping me awake.

I suppose I'll never truly understand, will I?
To you, I'm probably nothing short of dirt.
To you, I'm nothing. Not even a memory.

Five years of history, and this is how you've chosen to remember it.

Why?





 
 
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