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my soul
so in the past few days a few new developments have come up. i am moving soon so excited about that. finaly leaveing my parents. but along with the new freedoms comes more stress because i am now being forced to realy face my feelings of wanting to be female. one of the things i always told myself was that i cant do any of that because i would get cought my my dad and i would get in huge truble so. i always told myself that i would only persue my feelings once i moved out. and i realy want to but i cant now because my girlfriend would leave me if i did. i know my room mate would probably be ok with it all. the whole me chick thing. but my girl freind would hate me. i mentioned that i brought it up before and she said she would leave me because she could not deal with that. so i covered it up and she loves me again. but it hurts it hurts sooooo bad on the inside i dont know what to do. and im tired of haveing to run to the back every so often at work to wipe tears away when ever i think about her leaveing me or because the pain in side hurts so much. (probably olsers)

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