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Diary
lol i am a person who obviously uses my Diary alot!! haha so go ahead read, post, comment, or if you're one of those ppl who critizises everything go ahead, too! lol xD
what happened?
*sighs* god... when I posted that last entry in my Diary guess what happened the next day? (what? smilies/icon_sad.gif ) ... my ex? Chris?.... well my dad and I had to wake up early, like at 6:00 am, to go to his Naturalization thing so he can finally become an US citizen (oh wow!! yay for him! smilies/icon_biggrin.gif) lol it was AWESOME!!!!!!!!! but... on our way there he told me sad news about Chris... *looks down not sure on my mood* he had a drug overdose... (whattttttttttttt??!!!) yeah! he did! he said hey I have to babysit my baby sister so I wont be in work today, and sure enough... he lied and was with his gf all day, *rolls eyes* anyway that night he overdosed on something or rather {he doesn't do drugs that I know of and you cant overdose on Marijuana unless it's like twice your bodyweight...} and he was sent to the hospital and after Thaaaat... he was shipped to Pasadena TX to a psychiatric ward.... *feels like hit in the chest, holds Max my big soft Pikachu* what ever DID happen kid? what-did-you-DO? I was scoffing at hearing this, almost smug like, then the apathy I was feeling, or LACK of feeling, changed. My dad said, "it could have been an attempt on his life. A suicide.." I stopped in my thoughts and repeated the word... "Suicide...?" it DEEPLY disturbs me Diary..! it disturbs me because I've seen him cut before, horrible horrible cuts all up and down his bicept and on his thighs.... *blank stare empty mind slowly shakes head* what happened kid? I NEVER expected this! no! and i'm concerned that it was partly my fault... you see I stopped talking to him for all most a month in 7 days and perhaps in that timeline his gf cheated on him {again *rolls eyes*} and abandoned him. Now perhaps he felt like HE didn't have anyone left cuz I was, obviously, NOT talking to him so he disided to off-himself... I still haven't tried to get in contact with him after hearing what my dad said or trying to find out more about it. I was secretly planning on getting him back by doing this program and it called one FULL month away from ANY contact and well... *shrugs shoulders* this is how it came out... I'm not gonna talk to him or try to contact him until a week is up... it-it's a cry for attention though my dad corrected me and said it was a cry for help... idk why I said attention but I have a feeling it is... His parents have failed him my dad says and he is sickened by the out come of my ex. And for the first time EVER, when I was washing my car, I suddently felt all-Alone... like a leaf that just felt from its tree.... something detached... i'm afraid of what, or who, that something is...

.... I feel... soul searching loneliness...





 
 
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