It's safe to say I'm stressed at the moment, with my whole job situation not improving I'm starting to worry. I have some serious things I need to take into my own hands this week, but with my friends arriving in a few days, I kind of want to stay under the radar with my current job. I mean if they refuse to give me hours for two months why not take advantage of it when I actually need to? It doesn't matter how many times I call my new boss I have no hours, and no shifts and I'm not going to lie; my last conversation with my brother's boyfriend, and my best friend's family has me thinking that since I can't legally be fired, that I'm basically unofficially fired because they aren't giving me shifts. I know that in order to be in my new boss's good books I have to put my life aside and come running at their beck and call and basically be the very unhappy Jess you see before you today. Months ago I didn't think I had to worry about money, my only worry was that I wouldn't have any time off, well it looks like everything is in reverse and I've been living on my last paycheque for weeks now. They only call me when I have plans, or I'm out of town.
I went to collage for something that I ended up hating, wasted my time and money in the same program, quit to find myself, got a job to pay off my student loan, a job that I hated just as much as my education choice, got a second job because my first job decided that they didn't want to work me to the bone everyday to have another job that I hated more than both of my previous decisions got fired just to be left in the same place that I was before. I realize I know less about myself than I did when I started. I know what I don't like, and what I don't want, but have no conclusion to what I want to do. All I know is I want to go back to college. I'm just going to lose it soon. Seriously lose it. I don't really feel like talking to anyone, and I can't handle anymore personal drama because it will seriously send me over the edge.
There are some positive, and as much as I'd like to look at that, I can't right now because personally I'm not in the mood to looks at the big picture. Hopefully sleep comes quick.
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