She would have turned 50. I would have called her maybe even visited with cupcakes from that new place nearby. Maybe my nasty b***h of a sister wouldn't have been as nasty. But I can't look back at the horror that has happened to be the past few years. I cannot forget her, but just like my grandmother, I cannot dwell on her everyday.
I dwell on nothing now, the people who hurt me and the things that broke me. I am no one but myself and I am the only one who can make me happy.