Quite a mix I have this time. Love for Christina, surprise for my feelings towards Aiste, fatigue from work (holidays in 2 weeks) and sadness for ******** knows what.
I thought looking at pictures of Christina to get my mind off Aiste would help, but they just triggered old feelings and now I'm just confused. Aiste's with another guy and Christina's far away. As Emilija was around I wasn't horny (still am not...really) and now Katrin (my one time ******** buddy... again) is falling for a guy.
And despite all this happening I still have to finish programming a beta for the website plus get a French certificate. Furthermore there's a very pessimistic and cynic book / story I want to write, a movie I want to script and a girl I want to meet again (1 more no fap month).
Here I am whining about s**t, while others are dieing, but even if I were to help a few, the situation would never change. However I cannot kill myself to escape all this, because I don't want to hurt my family.
I'm going to bed and stop thinking. It's tiring...
· Thu Jul 18, 2013 @ 10:56pm · 0 Comments