...It's amazing how just one dream can throw off someone's entire day, isn't it?
I've only just woken up from yet another dream, but having found her way in, she's already done her damage.
Always when I least expect it, too. But there you are again...
This time it appeared to be further into her college studies that for whatever reason she decided to pay me a visit. Of course by this point I was less than pleased, as the mere sight of her is enough to make me go mad.
I remember all she could seem to do was put me down, lecturing me on my mental state as if she knew exactly what was going on. Naturally, I didn't take well to her words, and I simply lashed back at her. I questioned her character as well, and why she could possibly turn out so horribly different from the woman I had come to love for five years, yet she said nothing.
She left a journal of sorts, I suppose you could say. A notebook containing many personal passages in her life. Of course upon reading it there was not a single trace of anything about me anywhere--not even a mention. Instead were things about several other men and things that had happened with them, but not I. Not I, of all people with whom she had shared her life. Apparently I wasn't even worth her time anymore.
I remember at that point wanting to rip it all apart, tearing it to shreds, but I stopped myself. Upon giving it back to her, she informed me that she would leave me a portion of it, but cut up into pieces that I would have to put together. I reluctantly accepted, but before I could finish putting them together, I woke up.
So there you have it. Yet another of my days completely thrown off by a dream that, upon writing down makes little to no sense at all. I suppose none of them really do anyway, but that's not really the point in my writing. The point here is to remember.
To remember, no matter how much it hurts, that special someone who, despite having abandoned you and everything you once had together, still holds a special place in your heart--and always will.
But why? Why after all this can she possibly still mean this much to me? I suppose I can't answer that just yet.
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