JessieBear8910
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Why?


Hey everyone,
Ok so im bout to get real serious. You see this picture...when you took at it you may think this is jst a fun crazy girl that jst likes to have fin. Well that may be true but its wats behind closed doors that makes who this girl really is. Growing up was a constant struggle. I was never that cute skinny girl that everyone wanted to look at all the time. Instead i was the girl that everyone pointed at and laughed. Im not gunna lie i was very over weight n i wasnt proud of it but it wasnt something that i wouldnt keep me from living my life. I think the real struggle was when people kept pointing it out to me everyday. I remember thing that i wish i never did. All throught the 4th-9th grade i couldnt take being called names so i began to starve myself. i would go days, weeks, months without eating and it was working at first but then a few things happened. I fell into a deep depression for one cuz not only was all this bullying that i was going through i had lost my first boyfriend with a supprise move to new mexico and he didnt say goodbye, then the worst of everything my stomach was actually eating itself away. My friends always told me that i needed to eat cuz i did begin lookin like i was very sick...but of course i never listened.
In this picture she seems like the happiest person in the world but man has she gone through so much. As soon she got to the weight she wanted the guys started to notice as well. But with that there came the bad as well. My first boy friend that i had wasnt much cuz he ended up moving like i mentioned before n never said good bye. All his friends and my friends got to say good bye but i didnt. So goin throught that i didnt date much after that but i was talking round. I never though that could ever happen to me. I always ask myself how could i ever be put in this situation. I dnt no if this is true but i think that every relationship after that was jst goin down hill. No matter who i was talking to or who i dated they were mistakes that shouldnt have happened and it felt like when i was screaming for help no one couldnt help me.
All day today i was looking to the mirror and all i could ever ask myself was how could this happen to me? What did i do to diserve to have all this sadness? Why didnt i do anything about it? In that mirror i saw the most amazing girl that anyone would be lucky to have. I not like other girls that would do anything to hurt their special someone. But i guess thats was there used to and theres nothing i could do to help that but jst be myself and one day hope that someone will like/love/enjoy me jst being myself...but until then all i can do it jst move forward and enjoy the future that was left for me to live.