I have this ******** dog I don't blame the dog for being such an anxiety ridden aggressive little b***h thats on me but ******** me can I just have a moments peace without him shrieking in my ear like I'm kicking the crap out of him? This day I ******** hate this day this shift at my work ******** sucked serious balls because I had to repeat the same damn sentence over again a million ******** times "HI hows your goddamn day? oh its doing well? oh me how am I doing? I'm great! (translation: Like you give a ******** in the first place) Thanks for asking!" then I have to deal with two team leads railing on me for highway traffic that I COULD NOT CONTROL I left 20 minutes before I normally go to work in high hopes that this ******** bridge wouldn't be raped with cars which it was-bumper-to-bumper! Then to top this bullshit off I ******** drop my iphone into this bloody bottomless black hole of abyss in between the register where this hole is where the cords go down and have never seen the light of day. so... guess what... I MAY NOT GET MY PHONE BACK BECAUSE THIS ******** CORD HAVEN DOESN'T HAVE A ******** DOOR TO GET THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE! ******** ME! REALLY?!!! WHY THE HELL IS THE REGISTER CONNECTED TO THIS PIECE OF s**t HOLE IN THE FIRST PLACE? ******** MY LIFE at this point I'm a little worn out I let things slide I take a deep breath and start over I get off work I turn on some tunes and drive home... my gas tank is two bars to empty. Oh no problem, I go to look in my wallet only to find no bank card its on my book case...thats fine I'll use...no credit card its on the counter... okay I'll use cash...I don't carry cash on me.... ever.... so I look in my middle console and see what little change I have that can push the rest of the way home. I made it but it was a little I guess embarrassing using just change at a gas station I swear that guy was staring at me with that dumb gawky drooly stare saying you ******** p***k. anyways I'm back at the house the one place where I can relax. I haven't drawn in forever so I chucked that idea out the window and just settle for making myself dinner and watching a movie with Jewell. But first, CHECK IN ON THE GODDAMN DOG! I take him out of his crate take him straight outside where he takes a dump and looses half his weight in water before taking him back inside. I then do a little obedience training the basics sit, paw, lay down, stay, put the food bowl down ask him to wait all that lovely puppy bullshit. then he starts to eat which is when I take this moment of silence to make myself some food to eat I also pause for a moment and wonder if I should make two portions for Dy to eat when he gets home hm... where is Dy? the clock says 11:30 and Dy is always home before I am so I'm a little worried not having my phone on me I don't know where Dy is or if the brat needs my help with anything. I decide not to make two portions and make something for myself only and I walk In the living room with Jewell as we watch this movie. SHREIK goes the dog as I leave his eyesight. ******** ME! this dog doesn't even ******** bark he screams like a little ******** girl. the rest of the time he sounds like a kid smoker who tries to bark really amusing but ******** annoying as hell. so I go back in through the baby gate put him on leash as to keep him on lockdown wrapping it around my ankle and eating. the dog bounces and prances and chews and circles and HEY! NO PISSING IN THE HOUSE! close call no accidents, and chasing his ball and fussing. I finally finish half my meal and say ******** it to the other half because I have to watch this dog and try to enjoy this movie. its the showdown between iron man and thor jewell and I lean in oggling over what she calls hot men as I'm lusting over the effects and iron mans suit and thors sexy hammer. ;D you know what I"m taking about. then suddenly out of nowhere its back at the beginning, this dog! pranced on the controller and ******** rewound the whole movie which was almost to the end. so we fast foward it. he does it again. so we fast forward it again. it finally gets to the point where Jewell just says ******** it and takes a shower and I'm like charlie brown screaming AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHH! Frustrated with ******** snoopy over there that now has my goddamn plate. so I take a deep breath chill out and take him outside let him roam around a little. its late, and its too dark to take my puppy out on a walk in the city I just moved to. There are so many people on our block alone that envy me for having this dog just because of the breed he is if I were to get jumped by a group of four or five assholes for my dog so they can sell him off as a sire and breed him or some s**t. I probably wouldn't win the battle so I choose to stay home till Dy comes and we can take the dog out together being a pair is safer then being a solo number. Especially around my ghetto fabulous place I now have to call home. I look at the clock its 12:00 Dy isn't home... okay I no longer have a cell since Jewell has to use hers as an alarm clock and at this point I know Dy is probably with friends okay what ever have some fun. I take this time to grab the piano and start playing long drive by skrillex on the keys. finally after a half hour I got two lines memorized of the song that I can play up to tempo this is great I'm finally getting to unwind and do the things I love. As I'm ready to take the plunge and play the whole intro all the way through left hand included I stop on the first cord BARK! SHRIEK WHINE! ******** dog!!! I take him out again bring him back in play with him a little he gets aggressive and uppity so I immediately stop the play and get back to piano to leave him alone. BARK! he sees the ferrets and will not shut up as he sees Tazland (named partially after the tazmanian devil off of looney toons) he looks like a badger and bounces and spins like a tazmanian Devil. anyways my puppy decides Taz is a threat and decides to bark at him repeatedly each bark is like a knife through my ear drums and is something I cant ignore with a poker face. so I do the next best thing I turn around really quick like an owl or something out of the exorcist and say "STOP!" its not yelling but a firm abrupt stop. it startles him and he lies down and starts to nap. Back to piano. the dog gets up at 1:30pm and starts acting up. once again I do my routine. but now its 2:23...Dy never stays out late even when the brat is out with friends... So I'm wondering... is Dy okay? should I worry? as soon as it hits 3 or 4 I need to head to bed but Dy should be home by then and if not I'll be very concerned. like I said Dy doesn't stay out late. Dy likes to sleep in wake up with the birds and frolic the afternoons and go to bed at 10 at night so this is very unlike his routine. I don't have my phone so if Dy is in trouble I don't have any way of knowing. I hate today and I hate tonight and if my bed is empty tomorrow morning and Dy is alright and comes home in the afternoon. Expect me to shove my foot up his a**, give him the dog and go missing for a ******** month. Just saying, Dy gets an inch that means I can take a mile right? Canada is my safe ground and I would love to be with people that understand me for me again. the culture is different there so I can be like myself and actually be a goofball without getting in trouble for it. It sucks being here, cooped up all the time having only minimal friends that you cant even trust to speak up for you once you turn your back away. ya know? the people I thought would be my enemies here are actually one of the closest people I enjoy being around. I can actually talk to them without them judging me. eh I don't know what I'm getting at. I just wanted to rant this out because I feel alone. I don't like being lonely, I don't like being frustrated, or worried. I just want to have a great day at work come home make dinner take a nap play video games and draw hang out with buddies and go to bed. no high stresses no surprises changing it up here and there so I don't get bored is cool but I just want one day where I'm content and not always wanting more then whats beyond my reach. I want to break through that silver lining and finally feel accomplished and get rewarded for just being me.
· Fri Jun 28, 2013 @ 08:47am · 0 Comments