So...the maybe did actually turn into a late night text "feel like having sex?" It went okay. I still have erectile dysfunction and I haven't been to the doc about it yet, but I think it's cuz I jerked off too much. It's hard and all while it's outside of the V, but when it slides into that warm crevice... things go flaccid after a while. Before it was almost instantaneous, now it takes nearly a minute or so. The fact that I've abstained from fapping for a while, might be the reason ...
Well it seems like all I write about here is sex! So one last thing about sex and then to some other stuff.
The chick I slept with is a bit older and still attractive. What did turn me off tonight was a discussion we started about babies, specifically those you conceive by accident (condom breaks, hole in condom, you trust her when she says she's on birth control, etc.). Her opinion is that it's both their fault and they must both pay. She with time, him with money - even if the guy says beforehand, that he doesn't want the spawn.
It won't be a loss for her when I tell her that I cannot sleep with somebody thinking like that. I do not want to have kids now (maybe ever) and I certainly do not want to pay for one, that was clear I didn't want to make.
Anyway... sex isn't that great (even though I write about it a lot) and I might try it a few more times, but right now I bet I'm downright awful at it and she would likely even be happy not to sleep with me. Why she even considered me a sex partner is beyond me...
Life! What's going on?
Recent events have made me ponder more about my nihilism. I imagined a perfect world with human, but gave them free will (like today), but imagined them being more rational. A friend proposed a radical scenario where a few people deviate from the "perfect" human and want to kill the others... In a world of peace and harmony, what would happen?
Well... nothing good would happen and we would be back to where we are today --> even in a perfect world, the biggest flaw would be the human --> a perfect world cannot exist with humans --> in our real world nothing we ever do will make humanity "good" as a whole --> ... now what? Should I bother being alive? Should I bother making something out of myself? etc. etc.
I hope it makes getting over Christina easier. I mean, she's an optimistic realist. A person that lives in the moment and wants to make the world a better place. She wouldn't need someone like me, shitting all over her dreams.
I think my programming buddy and I are weeks (maybe days) away from an alpha version of our website! I'm really exited and found a way to work on it when times are slow at work. I feel proud that (even though I'm still a ******** noob) I learned a 2 new programming languages well enough to get this far. If we get further it'll be more of achievement, because I will be able to put it on my CV.
yeah.. that's all I wanted to write now
Until next time!
· Wed Jun 26, 2013 @ 11:47pm · 0 Comments