god dang it!!!!!!
ok, here's the timeline here.
2 days ago i found that brenda, the girl i was sort of dating that lives in stratford had facebook that she tolled me she deactivated. i asked her about it just to see what was up. she lied and said it was an old 1. then she said it wasnt hers, then she said she had just made it. all 3 things were a lie and i proved it to her with posts from the profile. she got offended and left without telling me what was going on.
yesterday she up and removed me going on about how i was accusing her of cheating and stuff, which i wasn't. then she blocked me from tagged so i emailed her. she went on saying how i found another girl and that i was a cheater and just so on and so on. eventually i gave in just because and she had 2 leave before i knew if her and i were in the ok or not.
today i couldnt stay asleep to i woke up early to nothing so i took a nap. in my nap i was dreaming that i was on a couch with my good ex reading off some menu or something, our faces getting closer and closer. i could smell her perfume in the hair. her hair on my face, my hand on her back. i could remember every bump on her skin, the way she spoke like she was there. it was as vivid a dream as it gets. our faces grew near without even realizing. her eyes started to close slowly as she brought her lips near to mine. i could even feel my heart racing and her breathing quicken. she realized what she was doing and looked at me and hesitated for a second, spoke softly and said. "well this is awkward..." and i looked at her and replayed rather shakily, "if you say so." without giving an inch of ground, and as we were about to kiss, i woke up.
i just want to be really truly happy again, why can't i have that?