I was in the kitchen and the cat tried to attack me so I got out the broom from behind the fridge and used it like a shield

It worked until I got to the living room, then I used empty threats from my water bottle, threw the cat's toys around and he went for it so I ran upstairs for my life

Then I proceeded to complain about temperature, blog about post 7000 when it was post 6600, and drink water that got under my tongue and almost killed me.

And this is why we don't go on tumblr for several hours.