Wax Abnormal
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(originally written May 29, 2013)

As I float down from the bliss of circuit 5+ consciousness, I already feel the weight of my older programmings settling around me. But as a wise man once said, a road is formed by laying down one stone at a time. What however triggered this seemingly sudden brain change? A great number of things that apparently hit critical mass, but the particular veil I tore asunder this time was Identification. In a nutshell, believing that thoughts, feelings, physicality, was everything I am. Identifying the drama of the sensorium as being my full 'self', and not the tools that they are.


It's alot like being completely absorbed in a film and suddenly becoming acutely aware that everyone is an actor, except the actors in this case are thought and emotion. The new awareness allows me a deeper appreciation of everything around, including the skill of the actors, because vision is no longer obscured by my emotions and thoughts, every single one demanding importance, attention and action. They arise, but they do not control (ideally anyway!).

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I've been developing a nifty trick to 'train' thought and emotion under control. Honestly, emotion is slightly easier for me as I spent a great deal of my life a a musician, which involves feeling any emotion that is necessary at the time for the performance of the piece at will. Thought is slightly more tricky, as most thoughts I have intrude automatically, it has previously been outside of my control. I've been using the atonal 'drone' of the old laptop in my room as a 'reality anchor'. I maintain inner silence, and listen to the ambient noise, including the drone. Every time I stop listening to the drone, I have slipped back into constant, automatic thought. Ok, silence being established, and efforts made not to drift off into thought, from the new position of stillness, allow words to float up in the form of poetry. They don't have to make sense, this is more about the fact that you are directly willing the words to appear rather than being overrun by them eventually to be lost in them. (The same technique could well be applied to feeling, only it is wise to take careful inventory of emotions before you start conjuring them up. You may find you've never really paid attention to emotions in this way and the manner in which you have attached them to situations, but been always swept up in the tide.)


Of course, inviting words to float up in this way is also building a strong bridge between conscious and unconscious thought, crucial to development of the later circuits and increased spiritual awareness. But that's another blog post for another time. Next time I may write my observations on my experiments with physical sensation directly relating to circuit V.

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References:
"Prometheus Rising" - Robert Anton Wilson (I use alot of 'circuit' terminology from the 8-circuit model of consciousness originally theorised by Timothy Leary)