I remember way back when I was little... I remember playing video games with my big brothers and big sister. Playing video games with them, watching movies, doing all kinds of things with those three... those may have been the happiest times ever, but now my mind and feelings are more complex than back then, I think I need more to be satisfied. Then, I grew up some, and I started writing and trying to create a future for myself, but it always ended as learning experiences that never moved me forward. Then, all of this about love and everything... why is my life becoming so complicated? I've grown up, I know that... but I don't want that. I don't want all of the easy and peaceful times to disappear... finding a person that can make you happy all the time, that you can spend forever with... it's too hard. I want to go back to the easy times, when all I wanted were my brothers and sister.
I take a look on my current life... brother and sister are gone, and I am caught up in a cycle of thoughts that are dragging me down. Why did the good times ever have to get complicated... =.=
I take a look at the big picture... 2009, 2010, those were amazing years for MoonSnowMouse. 2011 was probably the worst year of my life, I wasted all of 2012 on someone who was a filthy liar... and 2013 is just kind of empty... v. v
There's alot to do, and I have been doing it. I've been busy this year, but as you get older, it becomes harder and harder to make yourself happy.
I remember so much of it, but I'm almost desperate to cling to some of the memories, because I'm starting to forget some of them... I don't want to forget. I remember alot of it, though, most of it... from last year, those were amazing memories, but they were all lies. I should forget them... and I vowed to, but I almost don't want to. Before that, I remember... Pokemon Mystery Dungeon music, those things... Stellar, by Incubus. That song brings back nostalgia of probably the best times in my life. Surrounded Sea, Treeshroud Forest, Miracle Sea, all of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, really... Pokemon XD Gale of Darkness. Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X 2, Halo 3, Halo Reach, Halo ODST, Pokemon Diamond, Pokemon Platinum, Rourouni Kenshin... so many different anime. Kirby's Air Ride, Mario Party, countless other things, I have so many memories of all of these things with my family. These games and shows, the sounds, the places, they bring back so much nostalgia.
In 2009, and 2010, it's so amazing how simple minded I was. In 2011, everything changed for me... in 2012, I started learning so much that I changed into an entirely different person, and in all that time, I've gained and lost so many people. Sad thing is... I gained tons of people, and then lost them all. I still have my real friends... but I lost someone I had felt more special about than anyone on earth. So many memories. With them... and nothing to show for it. I took a look at the big picture, all of the memories and losses blended together, and I've lost more than I've gained... I saw it all come to me at once, and I have no comfort from the past left.
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