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Thank you for reading, friend beast =P
Alexithymia
The sun is gone, now, I accept the cold rain, and find much more comfort in it's gray skies. The sun and the beach, and the smiles of friends, they're things of the past, now I choose to walk alone in a cold, rainy, gray city street.
I wish for rain to come and replace the sun, I stand alone and feel it's coldness on my face... I remember alot of things, I worry about alot of things, and it blends to create a carelessness that disappoints all those people that interact with me. Watch them disappear, one by one... I stood by and dealt with your emotionless plague, and when you became all I had left, I contracted it. Now I stray from everyone, even you, because I feel nothing anymore.
I do what I want, when I want, I don't keep plans unless I want to, I walk away when I feel like it, I do things by myself. The second I walk away, I start to enjoy myself, I do all the things I always want to do, alone.
With my jacket flapping in the spray and wind, and with the countless faces that I pass on the wet and gray streets, I stand alone, I stand sectioned off in my own rainy solitude. I'm not crying out for help, I never have. I've never needed anyone else's help, or wanted it. I'll come out if I please... but only if I ever decide I want to.

Don't try to wake me up, even if the sun really does come out to tomorrow... I don't believe anything you say anymore, in morning.

Don't try to wake me up, even if the sun really does come out tomorrow... don't believe anything I say, anymore, in the morning.

I hope one day to revert back to actually caring what happened in or around me, but I think I may be better off this way... still, I wish on all the stars hidden behind the rainclouds, with downcast eyes, because there's more to living than just being alive.





 
 
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