Troubling thoughts, lost sentiments, hopeful desires, infamous plots, and forsaken illusions. Here is my mind.
Darling, I have lost my way. Here I stand waiting for your return, knowing my hopes run too high. Despite everything my head constantly orders me, I cannot help but to ignore it and listen to this beating organ in my chest. It is telling me to stay. To stay for your, darling. These past five years together have urged me to keep waiting. I cannot leave because I cannot accept what my head is trying to tell me.
I’m waiting, love. I’m waiting for you to come back. I know you are so far away, fighting for what you believe in. Fighting for what you stand for. Here I am, fighting for what I want. Fighting my head. Fighting for you. Am I selfish to want you, my darling, to come back here with me instead of out there in the vast world of strange lands? Am I wrong for such desires? Do I truly deserve you because of my wants?
Love, this does not feel right. I feel empty inside. Something is wrong. I cannot seem to understand this ache. Perhaps it is just the nostalgia that blossoms from the pain of your absence? I cannot seem to understand. I breathe and try to relax this exhausting pain, but these methods are not helping. The air I breathe seems to clog my heart and blood as I try to rest. I cannot breathe. I cannot sleep. I cannot think of anything.