I can pretend that everything is alright. Walk around and joke about.. smile and be merry.. when in truth.. Im screaming inside. Hiding the tears that no one will ever see. Im a stranger to myself sometimes and I hate it. I hate lying to the world when all I want to do is crawl back into bed and cry... Cry away the loneliness I feel. The dark emptiness that seems to attack me when Im supposedly safe within the walls of my own home.. One cannot understand this. How it grabs, tears and strangles me. Taking from me the one thing I try so hard to keep. So hard to control. The past haunts me and people who have destroyed me come back.. do they want to see me fall again? To cry and die over and over again. I might have been alive once.. but no one will ever know what and how I truly feel. I wear a mask of happiness... I walk the world ignorant of myself. Tears threatening always to fall, but you'll never see them. You'll never know how much I am alone. Even when Im surrounded by a sea of people, Im still alone. This darkness.. this void takes hold of me time and time again.. Im alone in the world.. Im alone. Im sliding down that spiraling hell and no one is here to catch me. To grab my hands and lift me from this hole. Im alone.. Never thought I'd admit this but the more I pretend to do my daily tasks.. The more I push for normality.. and try to help those in need.. Im finding that Im the one in need now. I need..
... I don't know anymore.. Dream
Over and out.
ll trouble ll
· Sun May 26, 2013 @ 07:45am · 0 Comments