Soo... I know that nobodys gonna read this, and if they did, they wouldnt care. I get that. But honestly, I just need to vent. I know how stupid this is. A girl needs a place to talk about her problems, and instead of going to her friends or diary or something, she writes in a journal from a stupid website that she started as a third grader. Pathetic isnt it? But I guess this is what my life has come to.
So I guess ill start by telling you that its12:04 on a school night, im bored, some what tired and incredibly sad. Im not going to sleep though because I really want to stay home from school, and i want to convince my mom that I'm sick.
I hate school.. I hate it with every fiber of my being. I hate being stuck inside a smelly room with people that I hate. I hate walking aimlessly through the hallways, I hate trying to meet expectations, I hate disappointing everyone, I hate doing pointless work, I hate trying not to fall asleep in class and I hate getting in trouble. So why do I do it? (Get in trouble I mean) Look people, its not like I TRY to. Its not like I enjoy being grounded or yelled at. But it just happens. I think, hey why not? and i do stupid stuff like skip class. I dont think enough I guess. And people just look at me like they know that I cant do anything but get in trouble, which isnt true. Did you know that I had A's B's and C's for a couple of months straight? thats actually incredible for me.. but guess what? no one cares. No body acknowledges that.. but as soon as I get a D in math BAM. Everyone knows, and they hound me to get it up and stay in class, and do good, and study and blah blah blah. Wow people, you really know how to make someone feel good. Well thats pretty much my view on school....... it sucks.
So.. how about my love life?(; HAHA. Well actually, I am dating someone right now. His name is Alex, he's from Neveda, he's incredible.. he has the looks, the personality, the music taste.. ah god. We've been dating for a little over a week. So you know when you're first dating someone & you're always like "omg hes gonna dump me, im such a screw up" ... Im going through that. You know why? Latley he barely calls me babe. He doesnt wanna flirt as much. He takes forever to text back. like he has better things to do. I know, that sometimes people get busy. But its 11 where he is, he says he's watching a movie so why cant he text me back? its real ******** annoying and nerve wracking. I honestly dont want to lose him. For the past like..... 6 monthes he's been my source of happiness, my light, and if he goes, he'll take that with him. I know, I know. Im 14 I shouldnt feel like this, but I do. I may be young but i still have feelings, and ill miss him so much if he decides to leave me. But I dont wanna dwell on it too much, I just needed to get that out.
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