what can I say that I haven't already put here? I feel like all that can be said has already been spoken... these words feel meaningless and empty. I am empty... so why does it hurt so much? another night I sit here my mind filled with nothing all at once... why bother putting these thoughts into letter... who will see it? will they care? I don't know, and I don't care if they do. thats not my purpose. I'm not here to make other care... I am here to care? I am? I want to be belive that, but its not true. I can't say that I care at all, I dont' feel anymore... the ocean has numbed me so deep that I fear that I won't get that sensation back again. all I can do is throw this paint up on a canvas, knowing that the picture it will paint won't be worth seeing, but I don't know what else to do. words are falling out of my fingers like water pouring from a tap... but unlike water my words are worthless, useless... there is no point... no one will see, no one will care...
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