Life for me.. was never perfect. Growing up, I was always shy and imperfected. Bullies would laugh, taunt, and push me. I was an easy target: A voiceless person. I would force a smile for my friends and family, continuing to ignore bullies. Each damn day, words like ugly, stupid, fatass, irritating, worthless, filled my mind. I just kept still, hoping they would disappear. Few years later, the bullying continued. I was placed last for the 'pretty' list. From that on, I began staring myself in the mirror. Calling MYSELF ugly, pathetic, fat, and useless.
You think only bullies call me that? My parents, grandmother, and cousins. They would 'encourage' me to lose weight by insulting me. Every single insult made me think of suicide. They would let me cry my heart out, thinking their plan worked. But, really, my self-esteem crashed down. I can never face the whole class during presentation.
I felt like total s**t. No one was there for me when I was struggling. I just wanted everything to stop. Then, I moved to a new school. My reputation and personality is completely clean. I thought to myself, "Maybe I should change.'
But, as always, I was treated like crap. Boy laughing at my thick brows. Girls pointing out my flaws. I could never show my emotion. I became cold to those around me. I later became, 'the Silent b***h'. No one knew me. Middle school sucked. I hated it. I hated everyone. I hated myself.
Soon, high school began. Beginning of my happiness. I realized I should keep my head up. I began to lose weight, dress differently, study harder. Shaped my brows, wore makeup, began to socialize. But again, I have doubts.
"Am I good enough?'
"Do they hate me?"
"Is this the real me?"
Because of bullying, my development is pretty ********. Low self-esteem and no confidence. So before spreading rumors, or putting someone down because of their looks, just stop. Stop your bullshit. Its not funny. Who the ******** are you to bring someone down? Then you'll be sorry if they commit suicide!? b***h popularity only sticks around high school. Later in life, you'll only be a picture in a yearbook.
We, the victims, are still human-beings. We love, we hate, we're like you!