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just watch me.
journal, I feel like s**t.

It's gone from just a sore throat to the all-too-familiar pain on the right side of my ribcage, and an inability to get a full breath.

I JUST WANT TO BREATHE, DAMNIT.

I don't even care that the rest of me feels like s**t right now.

I tried running half a lap this morning, just about died even though i used an emergency inhaler beforehand. I felt that it opened up stuff, but my breath was still ridiculously shallow. Just about passed out...

So I did some weights, and was valiantly fighting back tears the entire time.

I just want to breathe again. Like, 24/7. There have been two times today where I could get a full breath (and for those few minutes each, I was gulping air like it was all going to run out in a few hours), and it made me extremely happy.

my lungs hurt.

i've been a little light-headed all day.

We'll see what happens tomorrow. I don't want to go to health services until after my chiro appt Friday, just in case that's what's causing this.

I'm scared.







it could be any number of things. Doctor Google says it could be external stress, or we're stressing ourselves out from not being able to breathe and making it worse, or my iron deficiency is kicking in again (... mother had it tested without my knowledge last time I had to have a blood test, just to confirm her suspicions), a digestive thing where the body doesn't have oxygen left for your lungs while you eat, or any number of scary-sounding diseases.



Other than that, the semester still feels like we have months left. Got about 2 inches of snow today, more expected overnight (anywhere from 1 to 6 more inches).

Have two more papers due tomorrow (... neither of which are even close to done...).

Was invited to some movie screenings tonight that a few digital media major friends have worked on all semester. Bible study will definitely be out of the question with the papers, as well. I guess we'll see how interesting the screenings are; I need to finish those papers, damnit.

then thursday have closing remarks for all of those classes, etc. basically, the last "normal" day of the semester.

Friday don't have class until 1, so I'm going to the chiro in the morning. music dept. recital that afternoon, and band concert that night. Saturday a few more adventures, and getting to studying.

have four finals next week, two of which have study guides already. a third will also soon have one.

I'm stressing out about the packing side of things. I'm really REALLY spread out in the room, and it all has to be fixed and packed and re-arranged by next Wednesday.... O.O

*sigh*


this weekend will be Demolition Weekend. Essentially, just move all my crap out into the hallway, re-arrange, THEN pack.





...... hmm. well that's interesting. I've been putting off a restart all day, and now windows explorer has just stopped working, re-started itself, and now a restart is no longer required. liars.



the plus side of this feeling like s**t thing, though, is that I really do not feel like eating. i have a stomachache now, and it's hard to breathe when i eat.



motivation is gone. these papers are not going to be very good quality...





 
 
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