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the past that connects to the future
Dear Jonelle
Dear jonelle, apr 15
Its been a day already and im still pissed off. Yesterday at work I did a shift that was from 10-1, 1-2, and 4-5 which was when people were in the water and I was working as a life guard. 10-1 I had a average amount of swimmers, nothing big. 1-2 was about 20ish sugar powered kids swimming/running about at the pool nothing big. Then at 4-5 we were suppose 2 have 3 people working the pool, and our 3rd guy was a complete no show :L. your just not suppose 2 do that – not coming 2 work is one thing, but if he didn’t want 2 work it was suppose 2 be his responsibility 2 find someone to sub for him :L. and Im definitely sure this’ll be the second time he’s written up. He was suppose 2 know that he was working yesterday, otherwise he wouldn’t be signed up to work :L. this is the same guy that lies to both me and my boss about one day that he wanted me to sub for him cuz he wasn’t going 2 arive at the airport before work saying it’ll land at 630; yeah a coworker saw him 8am at a college we go to and he says nothing about arriving early :L. I don’t want him working anymore like god hes such a bad worker. I want 2 fire him :L. like he shouldn’t be working if he cant take responsibility for his duties at work. God just so mad at him! Im really hoping this doesn’t remind you of someone u think’s suppose 2 be reliable.

Dear Jonelle, apr 23
How r u doing these days? Biology and calculus are a pain in the a** for me, and its only the 1st month :L. I’ve been falling asleep in class and its not helping me. Calc’s getting harder and im seriously thinking about quiting. Been trying 2 get help, but so far its been a slow learning process. Now im faced w/the fact that 3 weeks in and im failing my classes. I really want to pass these classes jonelle. I’ve been trying my best so far already. Idk how much more do I have 2 push.

Dear jonelle, apr 26
Now adays, idk what to think jonelle. Theres this one girl named darby o’dell who’s in my biology class. She’s cute/maybe adorable even. She’s very versed in her vocabulary almost like an encyclopedia lol. She has this great aura around and about her, and I cant figure her out, lol. I think she likes me, but its hard to know; I asked for her honest opinion about me and she said most of the qualities that she listed of me irritated her. I admit someone that can be extrovert/selfless, reckless, tactless, talkative isn’t in the best of interest as far as an intrest can be, but hey I have good qualities. U’ve seen them b4 I believe. And idky but I really want her to like me b4 the quarter ends. She wont b going 2 college with me anymore the next time I go. Shes going 2 b living in a dorm or something for a seattle college. Good for her that she is by far more progressive than I am. I admit im a lazy b*****d when Im presented with something im not that interested in. but why I want her to like me, idk. Im feeling like if things keep going as they r now I’ll b nothing more but a good aquantice to her. Maybe I am crushing on her, idk if I am. I mean, I still have a fiancé and Joanna hasn’t done wrong to me yet as far as I know. Idk if im liking darby cuz I hang w/her more or cuz of her tongue. It really intriges me as to why I like her, as well as although she seems to show signs of liking me she keeps that distance. All woman are different I figured. But idk. Honestly if I wasn’t engaged I would really b working my a** off to get her to be my gf. She’s idk just because. However not entirely sure since idk to what extent my feelings for her are either.
With my engagement im actually questioning it. I feel bad about it but heres y: we don’t c each other often; I’ve tried to work on our communication issues but she still isn’t good w/convos w/me idky; and the reason I asked her 2 marry me to begin with was because I didn’t want her 2 leave me when heat between our families were hot. Its cooled down, but I still love her like omg I cant count the number of times I’ve endured for her. But I’ll be honest if we cant talk to each other about our issues/problems together then y be together? I love her to death but I don’t think I should stay with her anymore if she cant talk to me about what bothers her at all. I mean if she has sometihg that bothers her or shes stressing out, I want to be the first she goes to cuz I want to help talk it out,e but she doesn’t. even in high school I was either the last to know or I was told when it was close 2 being just a memory u know? Like im allways filled in when we’re at the decline of the issue’s story. Cuz im talkative I really want to talk things out but if I cant be met half way y should I carry what she couldn’t? it sucks that we’ve used up our 1st kisses and v-cards on each other, but life changes and so do people. I know im enduring but damn I cant be the iron wall for everything that she has a hard time with. I understand her background tho and I forgive her for what's been in the past, but I would like 2 move on as well too. Idk. Next time she visits we’re talking about this





 
 
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