Why do I even get on anymore?
What's the point of logging into Gaia anymore? I just don't see any purpose for it. Maybe I'm blind or maybe I just don't care to. I get on almost everyday and I'd say 99% of my friends list is filled with people I barely know and they rarely get on for me to get to know them. And every time I try making new, fresh friends, they end up being the same as the old ones. It's the same old story. Same old game. That's what Gaia is isn't it, a game? Well...this game has grown quite tiresome. I used to put my all into Gaia hoping that there will be some quality people out there, but no. I have found only a rare couple. Other than that? Nope. Just different avatars with the same old attitude or the same old sob-story or the same old problems. I'm seriously trying to give Gaia the benefit of the doubt that I'll eventually find those special people one of these days. maybe that's why I get on and search near and far, through-out Gaia for these wonderful individuals. To those that I found that are special, I sincerely thank you for the exhilarating experience you've given me. I can't but feel saddened about how few of you are out there waiting for me. If this keeps up I just might quit Gaia for good. Or at least for a little while. What upsets me the most is when I'm putting effort into this and I get little to nothing from it! Then again, I guess that's how the world works doesn't it? If only I could show you all I've done, show you all the pain I went through, all the sadness, all the anger, the frustration, all that and for what? Mere memories that aren't worth remembering. I know I'm not perfect, I know not everything is perfect. I know that not everything goes according to plan. Still. I may have done terrible things in the past, it was mere ignorance. I didn't know better at the time. It took a lot for me to realize that and I don't want people to just forgive me. I have to earn that respect back. The same goes for everyone else as well. I'm trying so hard to do the right thing and not mess everything up. I don't believe what I did was so bad that I don't deserve quality friends. I found one that I could instantly connect with. That was it. The rest I've tried and tried but it seems I have failed. Thank you for reading. I guess.