gyejib
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Haha, At these times... I usually go on youtube to watch Coming out videos just hoping that my story would be that positive. It really warms my heart to know how some families can be so understanding to the point where they realize what you've gone through. Being Gay isnt easy... Especially when society views it as gross or as a sin.. The hardships of being gay can really affect the way you personally develop and feel like life as a gay human being was something that you'd have to figure out on your own.... You tend to want to plan ahead... Whether or not you wanna live in secret your whole life and feel like you can never be in a relationship.. or whether or not you'd be able to show your face in front of your family again... Being of my religion and ethnicity it feels like everything that I do I'm being judged for. As for me telling friends... its hard... I've only confirmed it with one person but It was only feeling equal trust because she told me straight out shes lesbian... and her coming from a similar background it shocked me... Like i'd never expected... So just thinking about how ashamed of myself I truly am I remember the times in 8th grade - 9th grade that I felt like a disgrace and a big lie to my family and that I was constantly sinning against my religion... It made me feel like I had no where to turn to... no one to support me... It put me in a mental state where I only thought of the negative and none of the positive... and I felt like well if no one cares about me now then what will happen if they find out... I wanted to end my life then... All the feelings I bottled up have slightly been released but not the ones about my sexuality... It really takes a toll on your life emotionally and mentally... but just watching and hearing these videos gives me hope and gave me hope to know that life will get better...