Very swiftly I am heading towards a break down, I can tell; I have one about once or twice a year. My phrase, "I can't do this any more" is about to come to fruition. Increasingly and increasingly how awful I feel without my love is tearing me apart, I can't do it without her. Despite coping and just everything I can't do it. My depression and suicidal tendencies are beckoning, I just find life so unbearable without her, it's so empty without her. She is my world. I reminded of those young people that took their own lives over break-ups, I remember my first love rejection, I remember how much I believed that I didn't deserve love, how much I was and am unlovable. Life has always been so painfully unbearable because I don't understand it, I don't get it, I don't get people, I don't get anything. It all seems so pointless, we live and we die, either way we all die. No one makes it out of life alive. I feel so stupid for my last attempt, I told someone and I went to the ER; I never forgave myself for that. I told myself that I wasn't ready, that people still needed me, I'm pretty sure I was wrong. A huge factor right now is my mom, it has always been about my mom hasn't it? Yes.
Hello depression. I don't want to feel any more.
· Wed Apr 17, 2013 @ 04:48am · 0 Comments