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The Chronicles of Esan!
The weather has been unusually hot lately, as if nature decided to skip spring and move right on to summer. Poor spring, it's the forever alone season now. Hot weather means one thing for me. Sleepiness. I get so tired when it's hot out, so much so that I begin to fall asleep in class, and I tend to take lots of naps when at home, which wrecks my sleep schedule, not to mention how it also makes me cranky as well. They feel so good at first, but when you wake up, you feel worse than before and curse yourself for ever having a nap. Such an annoying thing, it is.
But warmer weather also means more time outside, it means cool, relaxing mornings and nights. So I'll start walking and jogging again, which is good due to it making my brain work better. I seem to have less problems when I walk because it gives me time to think about it, calmly and rationally. My feelings tend to overpower my thinking half the time, which can get me into a lot of trouble, so being able to take a break from it all and think it out is a blessing. I wonder when my brain will conquer my heart and make it so I don't blurt things out in the heat of the moment, only to regret it later. I like to blame it on my zodiac, as I usually do when I'm cornered, but I feel like that excuse is growing old, and I need to face the music. I don't think things out, nor do I attempt to, at first. I just let my feelings take the wheel and things just happen. Sometimes good things happen, my feelings tend to make my advice more passionate, so maybe that's why I'm able to help people. It can also lead to fights, as I'm sure you've all seen. Sarah and I have clashed more times than I remember because I let my feelings do the talking, not my brain.
That "follow your heart" crap is a lie, by the way. I've followed it and gotten into tons of messes. Listen to your heart and listen to your brain, then make an informed decision based on the two responses you receive. Never listen to just one. The brain is rational yet cold, while the heart is passionate yet quick tempered, prone to letting out bold statements that can lead to trouble. If you can just combine the two, taking from them the rational and the passionate, you'll be wiser and kinder than anyone who follows just one. You'll also find yourself in less messes.
So yeah, that was that.
Also, I've noticed I retreat to zodiac and horoscope sites when I'm emotionally hurt or confused. I tend to flee to them after fights, after big events, or even just a bad dream. They're my way out most of the time. They give me something to think about, and something to lay blame on. My zodiac is my own personal scapegoat. I need to evolve, as they say for Scorpios. I've read that a Scorpio has three stages. The first is the Scorpion stage. That's when the greediness of the zodiac takes over, and one resorts to thievery and violence to get what one desires. It is the lowest, cruelest and weakest of the stages. The second is the Eagle stage, when one makes the best out of everything and optimism is one's air. I believe that's what I fit into half the time. I try to look on the bright side of things, but it can be awfully difficult at times. The Eagle soars over all difficult things, however, so to be halted by such things is a clear indication of my lack of evolution. The third is probably the coolest sounding of the three, the Phoenix Resurrected. It is the last and most powerful of the stages. A Scorpio that reaches the stage is detached of all things, wise beyond their years and is a leader and inspiration to all. Sounds perfect, right? Wish I could achieve that stage, but I'm no where near that. I suspect a Phoenix Scorpio is one who successfully combined their heart and mind, rational passion motivates all their moves. I don't steal nor do I assault anything, so I can safely assume I'm not in the Scorpion stage. If any, I believe I'm in the Eagle stage, or perhaps a mixture of Scorpion and Eagle. (That would look AWESOME.) I can have my immature moments, as Scorpions do, but I tend to try and be optimistic, as Eagles do. Perhaps I'm on my way to the second stage, just not quite there. The last stage will most likely take me a lifetime to achieve, if not longer. I have a lot of growing up to do before I can be resurrected as a great and powerful Phoenix, who rules themselves through their personal justice, rational passion.
Zodiacs are something I never grow bored of. It's also my conversation starter when all seems lost and the conversation is on its death bed. It's always something fun to talk about.





 
 
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