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Mon Histoire
Murmures de mon cœur.
Things I could never tell you
There are things I could never tell you
And I can think of many, off the top of my head
I could tell you all the times my hand
Used to scrawl your name next to mine
Onto a piece of paper I kept safe
In the innermost corners of my vanity table
Where I check myself so often
To see if I am beautiful enough
To face the day
And it makes me laugh to think
That Eclair Tonnerre, in all her vanity
Hides a secret inside her vanity
And that secret is you.

There are things I could never tell you
Like how I would waltz around my room
With practiced feet and a lithe gait
And my eyes closed
Humming each one-two-three as soft as I could
In case someone listens in
Because no one could know
How the carpet of my bedroom
Began to feel like marble flooring
And how behind my eyelids, I could see
The light of the ballroom
And the throngs of people
But above all, you
Your mother always told me
How you used to waltz with her
On the days she was well
She said you were a wonderful dancer
I could never tell her
But I agreed
Daydreams were more than enough for me.

There are things I could never tell you
But I wish that I could
Things about when I was younger
And I would play pretend
With my fine porcelain dolls
And miniature tea sets
Or my heirloom dollhouse
Passed down from generations ago
I could tell you all the childhood memories
I keep close to my heart
About how I'd hide underneath my covers
And read fairy tales
From old, leatherbound tomes
Kept together only by the stitches in their spines
Otherwise, I'm sure
The pages would break free
Flying away like butterflies
Just like I'd hope to fly away
Into my own story
And maybe find my prince
A few years later
I did just that
But happy endings
Are far harder to catch
And I thought it unfair
That they'd dissolve to nothing
Even before the clock struck twelve.

There are things I could never tell you
About that day of negotiations
How I sat there as the adults talked
About how good this would be for the company--
For both companies--
About how I could not care less
About money or Grand Tonnerre
Because all of it was just so meaningless
I didn't need the success, or the fame
Or the stupid corporations
The boring suits and endless meetings
And money, money, money
We would be gaining more than enough
Of what was ours in abundance
What good was there in that?
Why want something you already had?
I knew what I wanted
And how it was worth
So much more
Than these petty little things
And so I stayed
As they reached their compromise
I pressed my hands against my lap
And tried to contain my happiness
Because I was going to see you
And I was sure you would love me too
And we would be together
And what could be better?





 
 
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